


Your Love Astounds Me

by OHSHC_Trash_14



Series: Knowing You [1]
Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime 1990)
Genre: Also Too-ticky, But the fish first, Chapter 3: Snufkin talks to a fish, I hope this chapter doesn't feel too disjointed cause of the different perspectives, I started writing this story in first person and it went surprisingly well, M/M, Moomin has so many feelings and Snufkin is trying his best, Snufkin is bad at feelings, Sorry that it just hops around between first and third person, because this story is going to keep doing that, it's the last day of fall by the way, narrating is my strongsuit, so things are even more Complicated, sometimes it will be in third person and sometimes it will be Snufkin's POV, specifically the fall after they start dating, y'all know what that means
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:14:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24891421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OHSHC_Trash_14/pseuds/OHSHC_Trash_14
Summary: This year, things have changed between them. And yet, come winter, Snufkin is still leaving. It can be confusing, loving someone who has so much love to give.
Relationships: Mumintrollet | Moomintroll/Snusmumriken | Snufkin
Series: Knowing You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803112
Comments: 12
Kudos: 27





	1. Fall Again

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the narration is kind of out of character, for some reason it's harder for me to write narration than dialogue for these characters.

I know you admire me, you have since we met. You thought my life was interesting, and I was unlike anyone you knew in your peaceful little valley. I was something new, something special. I don’t know if I can explain how I feel about you. You’re amazing to me. If I’m a star, then you’re the whole night sky. That’s why it hurts me to know how I’m going to make you sad. It hurts me more than you could ever know. But I have to say..

“It’s time for me to go, Moomin.” 

“You’re still going to leave this year?” 

“I leave every year. I’ll be back come spring, you know that.” 

“But this year is different! This year you’re not just-” Moomin stopped. He sighed, and looked down at the water rushing under the bridge where we often sat. “I don’t know what to call you anymore. Because now you’re not just Snufkin, you’re so much more to me. But you’re still leaving.” 

I want to hug him, to reassure him that things will be alright. But that’s not what he needs. 

“You’re important to me too. Which is why I promise you that I’ll come back as soon as spring is here.”

“I don’t like to cage you in, but I have a question.” 

“What is it?” 

“Before you leave, could you say it back?” 

I stood up, and held my paw out to him. “I’ll give it some thought. Would you like to help me pack up?”

“Will you stay for dinner tonight?” 

“Of course.” 

* * *

Moomin is someone who feels very openly. That’s what he’s been like all these years I’ve known him, and, I assume, long before that. His emotions shine through in what he does, and what he says, and he’s not good at hiding them. It’s not right to hide how you feel, and yet, I do. I’m trying to get better, and I’m more open with him than I’ve ever been before. But I’ll never be like him. That’s why when he says  _ I love you, Snufkin  _ all I can say is  _ I feel the same. _


	2. Leaving for the Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snufkin and Moomin have a conversation before Snufkin leaves for the winter.

Dinner was wonderful, of course. I was asked many questions about where I planned on going this winter, and Moomin must have picked up on it, because after dessert he said he had to show me something in his room. 

“You looked a little overwhelmed down there,” Moomin said as he went to sit on his bed. 

“I didn’t expect to become the center of attention. I’ve never been good at holding that title.” 

Moomin laughed a bit as I walked over to him. His laugh was melodic, and completely adorable. 

I took my hat off and hung it on the bedpost before sitting down next to Moomin. He knew what that meant, and held his arm out, but didn’t pull me in. 

I rested my head on Moomin’s shoulder, and felt his paw gently rub my back.

“Would it be easier for you to stay the winter if I didn’t hibernate?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.” 

“Why is that, Snufkin?” 

“I really enjoy it here, which is why I always come back to Moominvalley. And you, of course. You’ve always drawn me back.” I took a breath before continuing. “But I need to explore. I need to travel, and see the world beyond the valley. I need to climb over mountains, and fish in different streams. All this is special to me, but it’s not the only thing for me.” 

“All this, huh?” He didn’t sound mad, but there was something in his tone that worried me. “I remember when you first called it that,” Moomin sighed. 

I picked my head up to look at him. “Have I upset you?” 

“No, no. You were very different when you first said that to me.” 

_ The first time Snufkin came to the valley, he spent some time in Moominhouse. It was enjoyable, and the people were kind, but it left him feeling rather cooped up and in need of some serious wandering and alone time. _

_ “Don’t you get lonely traveling all the time?”  _

_ “I’m used to it. I’ve never really had all this.”  _

_ “All this?”  _

_ “A house, a family, all this that you have. It’s nice, but it’s not for me.” _

“I was different then. I don’t feel the same as I did back then, I’m sure of that.”

Moomin’s eyes started to glisten. Those big blue eyes that I’ve never learned how to refuse. “Then why can’t you say it back?” 

I put my hat in my lap and sighed. He deserved a better answer than what I was going to give. He deserves so much more than I know how to give. “I don’t know.” 

We agreed that we couldn’t part on that note, and discussed happier things for a while. We parted at the bridge, as has become our tradition, and I set off for the season, hoping I could return with what Moomin asked of me.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is continuing thanks to bunni_art_929, who asked for Snufkin to say "I love you."


	3. Snufkin's winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snufkin goes to new places, and thinks about home.

Snufkin walked to the base of the lonely mountains and set up his tent for the night. He decided that he’d head down to the ocean the next morning, and follow the shore where it took him. It would be nice to see that lovely hidden garden as it was covered with snow, without the nerve wracking journey via waterfall. 

The next morning Snufkin awoke to the peaceful quiet of winter. It was still too warm for the snow to stick, but it was falling lightly, creating a thin white haze in the air. He had some breakfast before packing up his tent and setting off into the great unknown.

Snufkin traveled for days without making any notable stops. He’d decided against heading into the garden, the river leading out into the ocean would not be a pleasant thing to slip in with the chill in the air. 

He was playing his harmonica while walking, doing so before it got too cold to put metal near one’s mouth. Snufkin was too lost in his song, a familiar short tune that he’d played on many lazy summer days, that he tripped over something on the shore. 

“That’s a rather large rock.” 

He stood up and brushed the sand off his coat. Upon a closer look, what he tripped over was actually an upside down boat, partly buried in the sand. 

Snufkin spent the better part of an hour getting the boat out from the sand. Whoever left it had obviously done so more than a week ago, but the boat was sturdy, and the oars still intact and with it. Snufkin used one of the strings and spikes from his tent to anchor the boat to the shore. He’d sent it just into the water, and stopped to have some lunch.

Later in the afternoon, Snufkin decided to set out in the boat. He set his bag, all packed again, on the floor of the front of the boat. He sat in the back and used one of the oars to push off from the shore. 

Snufkin rowed around a bit without any real direction in mind. He saw an island in the distance, and went towards it. 

* * *

That was how Snufkin’s travels were that winter. With the aid of the rowboat, he discovered new places. When the snowstorms stopped and the temperature was undeniably rising again, Snufkin rowed back to the shore he’d originally set off from. Those few days back, made longer by the need to stop at an island to cook himself a proper meal and get some sleep, Snufkin did a lot of thinking. 

“I know what he wants me to say,” I said to a fish that I’d caught this morning. “But he already knows how I feel about him, so I’m not sure why those actual words are so important. What I feel for Moomin goes beyond love, I think. When I look at him, I see someone that I’d be willing to risk it all for. To change for. And he’s changed too. He accommodates me, and thinks about how I feel. It’s better than when we were young, when I felt like I was always being dragged off somewhere whether I wanted to go or not.”

The fish swam around in the bucket. Maybe I shouldn’t be subjecting it to this, listening to me and my indecision.

“Have I changed as much as I can? Are there certain things I’ll never be able to give him? Will Moomin have to give up parts of his life for me to be comfortable?” I put my head in my hands. “Why am I pouring out my soul to a fish?”

After putting the fish through all that, Snufkin decided to send it back into the ocean and catch a different one to have for dinner. 

Snufkin brought the boat ashore by the river that came from the garden. It was a bit closer to the valley, and it would be easy to find that way. Perhaps he could take Moomin on an adventure on the rowboat sometime. He took out his backpack and the bucket with the newly caught fish, turned the boat upside down with the oars stowed underneath, and prepared a campsite for the night. He’d eat dinner, get some sleep, and the next morning, it was time for a very important journey back. Back home. 

Snufkin didn’t sleep very well that night. He had a lot on his mind, which made it hard to fall asleep. He needed to figure out what he was going to say to Moomin in addition to the yearly spring tune. It was roughly a day’s walk back to the valley, if he took the shortest route. If he went up through the mountains and back down, he could stretch it out to about five days. 

Snufkin decided to stretch out the time even further, and stopped at the little bathhouse on the dock. 

“Come on in,” Too-ticky called after I knocked on the door. 

“Hello, I thought I’d stop by on my way back.” 

“Spring’s really almost here, then. Sit down for a while, you must have come from far away.” 

I did as asked, and sat on one of the benches. 

“Where did you go this year, Snufkin?” 

“New places. At the beginning of winter, I found a rowboat on the shore, so I did some exploring.” 

“I’ve heard there are a lot of islands around here.” 

We talked a while before I headed out. I needed to head up the mountains and buy myself that extra time. 

  
  



	4. Spring Has Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snufkin works on the spring tune, and makes his way back home. Meanwhile, Moomin waits for him.

“This will be the first spring tune I compose since my relationship with Moomin changed. It has to be special,” I said aloud, to no one in particular. “Let’s see. A bit of longing at the beginning, which leads into the joy of a new spring. The elements should be familiar, but arranged differently. And at the end, a sign that I’m home. That part has to be new.” 

Snufkin worked on the tune, wandering - with purpose - through the mountains as he did so. It was a day’s journey from the tall blue house in the valley, and he felt unsatisfied with it. 

“This is missing something,” Snufkin said to a bird.

The bird sang a melody in response. 

“That’s good. Let’s see.” 

It went on like that for the rest of the day. Snufkin made it further down the mountains, but took a path into the woods in the valley and camped there for the night.

* * *

“Oh, Snufkin. When will you be back?” Moomin looked out his window as he spoke. 

“Come on downstairs,” Moominmamma said. “Help me get the house ready for spring, to take your mind off things.” 

* * *

I could see that tall blue house now. But it wasn’t time yet. Spring was beginning, but I wasn’t done thinking. 

“Oh Moomin. You deserve so much more than me.” 

A bird chirped at me, and I played my harmonica in response. It was a cardinal, like the feather in my hat. 

_ “Go on, open it.”  _

_ “Oh Moomin, how did you find this?” _

_ “It took me a long time, and I had some help. But I got you a new feather like I said I would.”  _

_ “This is such a lovely gift, I wish I had something to give you.”  _

_ “Promise me you’ll come back in the spring?”  _

That must have been two years ago now. Moomin’s always been that way, opening his heart, and giving me the freedom to do as I pleased with it. I owe him that too. 

I set off down the mountain, playing the spring tune. I didn’t feel quite ready yet, but that was strangely ok. I needed to see Moomin as soon as I could.

* * *

“If you want to see Snufkin so bad, can’t you go out and look for him?” Little My said. She was sitting in the fruit bowl, because there wasn’t any fruit to put in it yet.

“That’s not how this works,” Moomin huffed. “I wait for him here, and we meet at the bridge. That’s how it’s always been.” 

Little My spun herself around in the bowl by kicking the table. “You two are so odd.” 

“If you keep doing that, you’re going to get dizzy.” 

“Shut it. I’m too small for anything bad to happen to me.”

* * *

“This will do,” I said out loud. “I’m almost there, Moomin.” 

I walked through the woods in the valley, there was a path that would lead right to the little bridge over the river. I practiced the tune, and thought about what to say to Moomin. I didn’t know if I could say what he wanted, but I had something in mind that was sure to make him happy.

  
  



	5. Another Year in Moominvalley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snufkin comes home.

Moomin was putting his books and treasures back on the shelves when he heard the familiar sound of a harmonica outside. He ran to the window to look outside. 

‘Snufkin’s here!’ he thought. 

Moomin climbed down the ladder then ran over to the bridge. 

“Snufkin!” 

Snufkin waved. “Moomin.” 

“Oh, yes. Snufkin. How was your winter?” 

“It was enjoyable. But I was thinking of something as I came back.” 

Moomin thought this might be it. That Snufkin would say it back. 

He sat down on the bridge. “Sit with me, Moomin.” 

“Any time.” 

“I was thinking, and I remember our conversation from before I left. So I have something to ask you.” 

“Ask me?” 

“Come next winter, would you like to travel with me?” 

“Yes! Yes Snufkin, of course, I’d love to.”

Snufkin hugged Moomin. “I missed you so much my darling.” 

“I missed you too.”

“Would you like to hear the full tune?” 

“Where should we go?” 

“Into the woods?” 

Moomin smiled. “Up in a tree?” 

“Sure. Help me set up my campsite before we go, then.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of this story! I've decided to turn it into a series, ha, oops.  
> They'll travel together next winter, maybe Snufkin will be ready to say it by then.

**Author's Note:**

> Should I add another chapter to this? At the moment I don't have more for this idea, but I'd be interested in exploring it further if anyone is interested.


End file.
